“I am angry. It is illegal for me to be angry. Remember: Don't get angry. It is illegal to be a black man and be angry. Right. Got it. I will remember this next time.” 

Kara Lee Corthron, “The Truth of Right Now”

On this day, the former Minneapolis police Officer Derek Chauvin was convicted by his peers of three charges: second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter.

Today, a rare thing happened when a white police officer was held accountable and will be punished for murdering a black man while a small group of people - young and old, white and black, man and woman - watched, frustrated by the hopelessness of it all.

Today, I take my next few steps and breaths cautiously. As always, I’m optimistic for the future. Yet, I wonder: where would we be today if this same verdict had been found for Rodney King, the black man who was brutally beaten by four Los Angeles Police Department officers while a television news camera watched?

Where would we be today if the men who lynched a 14 year black boy, Emmett Till (after being accused of offending a white woman in her family's grocery store), were punished for the murder?

Where would we be today if America, England, Spain and other countries claimed accountability for the role they played in the slave trade of black and Indigenous peoples, and the destruction of the lives it wrought?

Can this be the “giant step forward in the march toward justice” that President Joe Biden has predicted? Can our criminal justice system actually work? Is she finally blind and impartial to those brought before her dais? We’ve had so much time and far too many opportunities to get this right.

Sigh.

Because we are ONLY here, that leaves us with still so very far to go.

The nine minutes and twenty-nine seconds that the monster used to snuff the life from George Perry Floyd was much more than that for us - people of color. It was a time capsule. It encapsulated what we have become accustomed to: WE CANNOT BREATHE! We have been denied that inalienable right for far too long. Can you hear us now? We have had enough of feeling helpless and lesser than.

For too long, when justice has been served to people of color, it has been served raw. Served cold. For us, it is a punitive system. Justice has been for The Others. Not for us.

Today’s verdict isn’t a cure for the viruses that are racism and inequality. At best, it is a booster shot.

The thing about racism is, much like coronavirus with some people, you just know people that have it aren’t well. They are sick, you know it, and they will infect even healthy people who spend a certain amount of time in their proximity. Droplets of their infectious venom gets spewed from their mouths, and their weighted knees, and next thing you know, you’ve become infected too. Or die.

But, coronavirus and racism are similar in another way. Some people show no symptoms. They exist, seemingly fine. Nonetheless, they are infected and they can infect you too.

9:29. That is how efficient this virus is. Did you see how casually it can kill? Did you see its hands on its thigh; sunglasses perched atop its head, and, casual in its ability to kill? And, similar to coronavirus, it halts your respiratory system. I can’t breathe!

I’m hopeful. Yet, I know that the same “Operation Warp Speed” has never been implemented to cure this disease. There appears to be no antibody immunity for this virus - racism. It is violent and efficient. It is a pandemic that does not allow room for fundamental health: descent economical wellbeing, descent mental health, descent physical health, and descent human dignity are all corrupted by racists. That is what the carriers of this virus are called. Racists. They exist with the right to breathe while denying others the same privilege. Strange.

1619 to 2021. That is the total time it has taken to traverse this single step. “This can be a giant step forward in the march toward justice.” I have such hope for us.

If you haven’t yet, take a moment to read “Tell Me What It’s Like”.